football season!

Americans are obscene, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean that everywhere I have gone thus far I have been surrounded by folk who aim for the absolute greatest and expect nothing lessfrom those around them. So, when I went to my first college football game of the season I knew I was going to have a whole lot of fun.

Football is a big deal in these parts, it’s not just a game, It’s a way of life. To give you some perspective, Game Day is even more important than God’s day of rest (and that’s saying a lot coming from the Bible Belt of the Midwest). People go all out. Parking lots turn into huge tailgates where from 7am families grill, drink, play football and drink some more.

I didn’t really know what to expect at first from my first football game. We were playing McNeese State, some no-name team from Louisiana who had been paid $500,000 to play our division one team. The general consensus was that Mizzou would slaughter McNeese,

so I was a little worried I was going to be bored. It was around the time I saw the Stealth Bomber (that oddly resembled a UFO) soaring over the stadium during the national anthem that I knew my purchase of season tickets had been a good investment. I definitely wasn’t bored. Hell, you didn’t even need to understand football to be having a good time.

To be honest – a Football game is something you can’t really describe, it’s something you have to experience. But I am going to try. Basically, take every football game you seen in a movie, every stereotype – the blonde Cheerleaders being tossed into the air, the marching band that struts in formation whilst wearing ridiculous hats, the 6ft football players who have the looks but lack a little wit, the baton twirlers and amplify all of that by about a million, I never thought I’d be saying this but ALL OF THE STEREOTYPES ARE TRUE! And it’s wonderful.

Like every school though, we do have a few quirks. For instance, when Mizzou scores a touch down or a field goal, members of the Army’s Reserve Officers Training Corps fire off a cannon (yes, a real cannon, I’m sure you can imagine my reaction the first time that happened, needless to say, It was embarrassing). After firing said cannon they then run to the touch line to perform push-ups in formation in accordance with the number of points Mizzou has on the scoreboard.

Then there are the cheers. They’re all pretty simple, and to be honest when I first learnt them I felt a little bit lame. But when you’re standing in a stadium with 60,000 other (slightly intoxicated) fans singing and dancing to Mizzou-Rah! or swaying in unison as The Missouri Waltz plays, there’s honestly no better feeling.

Before I came here I never thought I’d be the football type. The closest I’d ever got to football was studying Remember the Titans in 5^th Form English and even then I vowed I’d never like “that pansy version of Rugby”. But I guess even the strongest can be persuaded - with the help of a stealth bomber and a couple of pre-game drinks, that is.