I know I haven't blogged for a while, but readjusting was a little harder than I had planned it to be. 17 months ago I decided I wanted to go to the States for a semester and 17 months later, the journey now over, all I do is wish I was back there.
The last couple of months have been a bit of a blur, my final weeks in the States went by far too quickly in a haze of travel, goodbyes and holidays I suddenly found myself in Dallas Love Field at the security gate, bawling my eyes out at the realization that 1) That this glorious little bubble that had been my life was about to pop and 2) That I had another 4-8 months of long distance ahead of me with my boyfriend. I had gone from being calm and collected to a complete wreck in the time it took me to check my bags in and walk to the security gate.
Ok yeah, I cried, lots of people cry at airports that's not completely out of the ordinary. What is a little out of the ordinary is when the guy working security leaves his station to give you some tissues and share his wisdom on love and relationships. He was a nice guy.
I had been so consumed by the act of leaving I didn't even think what it would be like to return home, I guess I thought it would be fine which is why I didn't think about it. People always talk about reverse culture shock, which i've never really been able to grasp - despite the fact I have done a fair amount of travel in my life. I can now say with absolute certainty, that I know what it is and that it sucks. The last 7 or 8 months feel like a dream, everything is the same at home, but different. My friends are still my friends, but they've moved on somewhat, shared experiences that I cannot possibly understand and moved on. Maybe they see this in me as well, i'm not sure, I try not to talk too much about Mizzou because I feel like that could get irritating, though I do get asked - things like "what was it like?", a fair question but how do you succinctly put that into words? It was many things - good and bad, there aren't enough adjectives to sufficiently describe my experience or how i'm feeling about it right now.
A little over a month later, i'm feeling a bit better about things. I began work in Auckland almost immediately after I came home and am so thankful for it, it gets me out of the house and acting like a normal person (I think if I didn't go to work I would probably be locking myself away in my room 24/7). I still have my days, but i'm sure they will lessen, especially with my next semester around the corner (3 more days boo) and the arrival of Drew in the country (3 more months yay).
As for my little corner in cyberspace, i'm definitely gonna try keep this chugging along quietly, but who knows - maybe uni will take over my life. I hope not.
