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that time of the year.

So, it's christmas time.
A time for us to eat, drink and be merry. A time to spend with loved ones. A time to reflect on the year gone by.

Every christmas the media mourn the loss of traditional christian values.
The church states that the commercialisation of religious holidays by conglomerates such as coca cola has made what was traditionally a time for reverence and reflection into a time of excess and greed.

In western cultures, this may be technically true. The orignal meaning of christmas has been lost by many young people. But is this really a bad thing?
Everyday we talk about society moving forward. We talk about demolishing the racial and religous divides that have created so many problems for so many years. We talk about a harmonious world - one that is open, one in which people have freedom of speech and freedom of belief.
But how can we do this when we stubbornly cling to old traditions, that have ultimately played a large part in so many conflicts? Christmas is a part of christian history, and that's where it should stay, in the past. Yes, we should recognise it, yes we should learn from it. But in a society that is changing so rapidly, we should also have the ability to evolve.

merry christmas :)

When God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, everyone was pretty pissed off at Eve. Fair enough I suppose, I mean she did eat the forbidden fruit, even though she was told not to and millennia’s later, women are still being forced to pay for that supposed lapse in judgment (childbirth, anyone?!). Yes, when it comes to temptation, Eve screwed up big time. But is temptation really that bad? It seems to me that temptation (whether you ‘give in’ or not) builds character, so why avoid it like we do?

I found myself faced with a similar temptation just yesterday. I got something in the mail. It wasn’t an angry letter from the library demanding money, nor was it a bank statement.
I got a Christmas package.
And it’s taking every ounce of self control I have not to open it.
Ok, so I’m not dooming an entire species to an eternity of pain and misfortune (hello, childbirth…), but that’s beside the point. Temptation, in whatever form it may take, is temptation.

When faced with temptation such as this, most people (normal people), would take the “out of sight, out of mind” option. By hiding said temptation, they can basically deny its existence. But that sounds like a bit of a cop out to me. Temptation is about discovering inner strength and creating some self control. To hide from temptation is to remove any challenge from life.

I could have taken this route. I could have put my Christmas package in a high cupboard, or I could have pushed it into a deep dark corner, away from my prying eyes and curious mind. But where’s the fun in that? For the next 11 days, my Christmas package will take pride of place underneath our tree in the living room, staring me down and willing me to open it every time I enter the room.

Like I said, this is no Adam and Eve scenario, but it’s definitely going to be tough.
Good luck? Yes please.

hello, temptation...

change.

"Change is not merely neccesity to life - it is life."

That Alvin Toffler is a smart bloke. But.. I wish it wasn't true.

Change is a funny thing. You can't live with it, can't live without it. As soon as I begin to feel comfortable, and happy, and at peace, the cosmos just have to shake everything up.

To be able to trust someone is a big deal, especially for someone like me who finds it so hard to trust. This past year especially has been a rollercoaster. Constantly being thrown in to different situations and strange places. Having to befriend new people all the time. Learning to trust only to have them wrenched away from your grip is hard. And draining. And sad.

I'm in limbo. Auckland and its wonderful craziness is a distant memory and i'm back in the country. Hicktown. No Mans Land.

Square. Freaking. One.

Two years away from this place has certainly changed me, and for the good. But now i'm stuck. I've changed too much to really feel at home, at ease. And i've changed too much to be myself around my old friends. But I haven't changed enough to move on.

The few people who know the real me, love the real me and above all ACCEPT me for who I am are thousands of miles away, some I will see again, some I will not. And no matter how many stars I wish upon, I can't change that fact.

Change is supposed to be evidence of growth. But what if I don't want to grow? All I wanted was to stay in that little bubble of contentedness that the last two weeks of school brought me. Friends, laughter, and an understanding that it was all going to be sweet. That's what I wanted. Just for a little bit longer.

I can't wait to get back to Auckland. But I know, like everything else, it will all have changed. I keep on imagining this perfect little place and situation, but I know when I get there, everything will be different. New friends. New classes. New home. New flatmates. It will all be so very different, but so eerily familiar. I think that's the hardest thing to grasp.

You know, change may be inevitable, it may be essential to growth, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.